Last-modified: 1994/12/10

The DevilBunnies' Side of the Story (AKA The Buns' FAQ)

Written on November 11, 1993. Updated May 14, 1993, October 1 and November 8, 1994. Last update: Dec 10, 1994.

Compiled and edited by Bill Keyes (bkeyes@lamar.colostate.edu), with help ^>fromJinx and Strawberry. The majority written by Shadow Child, the DB of the East, and others too numerous to list. Thank all.

Dedicated to our fallen warriors. You will be avenged.

* THE DEVILBUNNIES SPEAK *

What is this group all about?

The battle between the Fudds (humans who are aware of dbs and seek to maintain their dominance and destruction of the Earth and other species) and the devilbunnies.

You've got to be kidding.

Uh-huh. Just watch as the humans attempt to destroy the entire world and the devilbunnies save it and make it a cute and happy place.

What are Devilbunnies?

The Bunnies are a group dedicated to the reclamation of the earth for the innocent creatures that live therein. We DevilBunnies seek to repair the damage humans do protect Gaia. "We will succeed because we are smarter, quicker, more innovative, and right. We shall overcome you!" (DevilBunny of the East)

How did the devilbunnies come about?

How Devilbunnies acquired their remarkable intelligence and ablities is best left unsaid on the net. Devilbunnies are nearly indistinguishable from our "normal" lapine cousins, so trying to seperate the two is next to worthless.

Why so bent on erasing humanity?

The animal kingdom is well aware that trend of humanity's actions are to end in the complete destruction of nature and all non- human species, and possibly the human species as well. Various animal diplomats tried to reason with the humans (Flipper, Smokey the Bear, Hound McRuff, etc.) but to no avail. The only solution, unfortunately, is a complete takeover. Bunnies may be the (currently) most noticed animal trying to reach this end, but definitely not the only one. Sharks, black squirrels, amoebas, dinosaurs, etc., have long supported the cause. (SC)

What's with all the human-flesh-eating?

A side effect of the bio-additions of the vorpal incisors and teeth and powerful bounding feet (Stomp!), etc. Although such viciousness is otherwise unwelcome, is does prove quite handy against those tricky Fudds. (SC)

What is the tastiest part of a Fudd?

Their toes. Make great stews, ice cream, pies, casseroles. Almost any main dish, appetizers, side dish, dessert, etc. Also handy for making keychains, paperweights, etc.

But if devilbunnies have taken up the human traits of intelligence and flesh-eating, what's preventing them from becoming the next evil species?

Lawyers, auditors, Encyclopedia Brittanica ads, lack of cute fur, .... all these absolute necessities for pure evil to flourish simply are not a part of the lapine way. (SC)

Where can I learn more about the devilbunny cause?

Not many human texts are available, those that are barely cover the topic adequately. None the less, good places to start are the Peter Rabbit stories, Bugs Bunny cartoon scripts, and, of course, Watership Down (in both book and film format). (SC)

What is a Fudd and how do I recognize them?

Fudds are the humans walking around carrying fireaxes (usually), urine, vanilla extract, etc. and muttering to themselves about bunnies. They are normally found on college campuses and like to do lots of training and spending time collecting various "samples". They are dedicated to thwarting the cause of the righteous devilbunnies and are intent on keeping their (supposed) control over the Earth so they can have wars whenever they want and wantonly destroy the planet.

How can you tell when a person is a Fudd or normal?

Normal people do not spend their time hunting down cute, harmless, furry, adorable little creatures like bunnies. <wigglefluff>

Do all Devilbunnies kill?

Not always. Some are dedicated to peace and seek friendlier relations with other races. These are cute buns who devote themselves to learning how to heal, spread cuteness and generally be just adorable.

Can I be cute?

Most definitely. Just try hopping, or bouncing or wiggling or giggling or twitching or hugging or any number of things. Its really not that hard. If you want lessons almost any doe would be willing to teach you, or just watch kits - they're naturals.

Do all Devilbunnies make sense?

Not always but the temporary fooleries committed by such bunnies is a good price to pay when considering the alternative: allowing humans to proceed to the world's ultimate end.

This is the end of The DevilBunnies' side of the story. Any questions, comments, clarifications, flames, etc, should be sent to Bill Keyes (bkeyes@lamar.colostate.edu).

This document and all information contained within is copyright (c) 1994 by Bill Keyes. All rights reserved. It may not be reproduced or reposted by any means, electronic or otherwise, in part or in whole, without prior permission from the author.

Bill.

*  Bill Keyes                 /\     *  bkeyes@lamar.colostate.edu         *
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